But I’m Not Racist. Am I?

Author: Sophia Newton

You’ve never called anyone the n*word, you’ve even stopped saying ch***y when you’re ordering a Chinese take-away. You feel a bit ashamed about that fancy-dress outfit, but hey, you didn’t know any better and you wouldn’t do that now. You’ve never knowingly judged anyone based on the colour of their skin. You’ve even got family/friends/colleagues who aren’t white. You are proud not to be a racist. In fact, you loudly declare that those rioting and physically attacking people based on their skin colour ‘do not represent you’. So why are people banging on about anti-racism and asking you for more? What exactly is the difference between ‘non-racist’ and ‘anti-racist’ and why does it matter? Can’t you just get on with your ‘non-racist’ life?

The truth is that there is no neutral ‘non-racist’ stance, by choosing inaction or silence you are choosing to uphold racism. That might look like not challenging it when you hear it in conversations you’re in, even at times when you have a strong relationship with the person and could go a long way in bringing them away from those kinds of views. It can also look like not unlearning the racist ideas you’ve been taught by society like everyone else. It’s these ideals (held by so many of us) which create the systems that are disproportionately affecting Black, Brown people. Ultimately, it means that until you choose to be anti-racist that you are, however unwittingly, being racist.

Don’t you dare call me a racist

I know this feels uncomfortable, and that your immediate reaction may be one of outrage, or to begin to point out the many ways in which you aren’t racist, I get it, no one (at least most people) want to be called racist. Just to be clear, I’m not comparing you to the people with white-hoods and burning torches. I’m not saying you’re ‘far right’. There are different kinds of racist. There are a minority who are extreme violent racists and who hold it as a badge of honour. Sadly this group is growing at the moment and they are feeling increasingly more and more emboldened. However, there are far more people who simply see themselves as ‘non-racist’, I was one of them. In order to affect change, we need a lot of these people to move towards being ‘anti-racist’.

Really? Why? Is Racism that bad here? Britain isn’t as bad as America.

Racism exists in different forms, and in ways that you might not immediately recognise as racism because guess what, it doesn’t always sound like the n*word, it doesn’t always wear a hood. This kind of racism is far harder to pin-down, it can look like:

➡️Always being followed around a shop by security because they think you might be shoplifting.

➡️Someone look surprised when they meet you in person because you didn’t ‘sound Black’ on the phone.

➡️ A vicar/priest/member of the clergy drawing their hand away from shaking yours because you are a Black man.

➡️Someone on public transport clutching their handbag more tightly because you, as a Black person, have sat next to them.

➡️Someone flinging your change on the counter in a shop instead of handing it to you like you did for them when paying for something.

➡️Having to worry that your name or assumptions made about you on an application form mean you have to send 60% more applications to get a positive response

➡️Worrying about being stopped and searched or needing to prove you own your car/ bicycle because being accused of crime has happened so many times before, to you, and people you know who also have Black or Brown skin.

➡️Being expected to speak for your whole race.

➡️Having to have ‘the chat’ with your children about why someone might be treating them differently.

These are all based on real instances of racism experienced by some of the Black and Brown members in Anti Racist Cumbria.

You might see these as simply hurtful ‘incidents’, but if you’re a Black or Brown person experiencing this everyday over a whole life-time, it takes a toll. It also impacts the way services and institutions interact with you and has a massive impact on your life trajectory and how hard it is to ‘get on’ which is what all of us want to do. Racism hides inside our systems, workplaces, education and curriculum, it hides in our policing methods, it even hides in well-meaning places like feminism and guess what, it even hides in you.

In cold hard facts and statistics, racism shows up as:

Black people being seven times more likely to die after police restraint in Britain, figures show ~ Inquest Report 2023

Black children being 11 times more likely to be strip-searched in England and Wales than their white peers. The study found police did not follow the rules in more than half of strip-searches, amounting to “widespread non-compliance”, and in half of all searches nothing was found ~ Children’s Commissioner Report 2023

As of October 2023, there only being 34 GPs per 100,000 patients in the areas with the highest proportion of people from ethnic minority backgrounds, which is 29% lower than the 48 GPs per 100,000 people in neighbourhoods with the highest proportion of white British people ~The Guardian

Black women being 3.7 times more likely to die than White women, and Asian women were 1.8 times as likely to die in pregnancy or childbirth as White women ~ MBRRACE Report, 2022

Between 2020-21 and 2024-25, more than 55,000 suspensions being linked to racist abuse in English schools ~ Department of Education, 2026

This is just the tip of the iceberg to give you an idea of what we’re talking about here but let’s be honest, a hardworking midwife isn’t watching a Black woman have a difficult labour and thinking, “I’ll let her die”. What is happening instead is that years of racist stereotypes have subtly ingrained a view that “Black women can handle more pain” which might have meant that her labour was allowed to carry on a little longer than it should. An employer probably isn’t thinking “I won’t give that man a promotion because he’s Black.” But he might have thought “I’m not sure that he’s the right ‘fit’.” You see the subtly? You see the difference? You see how the outcomes are the same, even though the thoughts leading to the outcomes aren’t ‘racist’ on the face of it. That’s why we need individuals to become anti-racist because the racism in Britain is the kind of racism that shortcuts your thinking, it makes you make assumptions about people based on the colour of their skin, it’s the kind of racism that collectively adds up to the shocking statistics, and the kind of racism, and this is important, that means you get more offended about being called racist than dealing with racism.

An interesting example of this is the frequent gaslighting Black and Brown people experience when they raise points that affect them in some way. Think about this…

How often have you ever actually been called racist?

How many times have you questioned a Black or Brown person’s experience?

I’m sure it wasn’t meant like that. They’re being oversensitive. They’ve got a chip on their shoulder. Other people might think that, but I don’t. I think they’re being a bit aggressive. It’s sad that’s happened, but not everyone’s like that. They’ve made it a bit awkward. It’d be better if they’d raised this privately. Why do they keep going on about it! I wish all this Black Lives Mater stuff would go away, it’s making things worse. I’m not racist. I’m not racist but…

Think about it seriously. Ask yourself.

Are you more scared of being called racist than supporting those who actually experience it?

I’m going to ask that question again. Are you more scared of being called racist than supporting those who actually experience it?

I reckon you know the answer, I reckon you probably feel a bit ‘hot’ and a bit ‘uncomfortable’. I know I did. I know I used to immediately defend myself or others if a Black person said that a comment upset them, I would immediately say things like ‘I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that.’ In the past I know that I’ve had a moment of nervousness if there has been a Muslim man in an airport queue. I’m ashamed of those thoughts and actions. However, if at that time someone had called me racist, I would have been affronted, offended and downright outraged. It’s not much fun realising that those thoughts are racist is it? It’s not much fun realising that despite the fact your cousin is Black, or your best mate is Indian, or even that your kids are dual heritage that you have been putting more energy into defending yourself or others than actually addressing the fact that you have been being, racist.

Thankfully there is an antidote, but there’s only one. It’s anti-racism. And it’s really freeing, yes it’s hard work, but you can start to kiss goodbye to a lot of those stereotypical thoughts or at least if they do sneak in you can understand why, unpick it repack it and deal with them through an anti-racist lens. I can’t tell you how much more interesting the world looks like when you become anti-racist, people actually start being exactly that, people.

The first steps of becoming anti-racist is to look really hard inside yourself, again. The truth is you might not like some of what you see, that’s ok, it’s normal. You can keep the rest of the skeletons in your closet but the race skeletons, they’ve gotta come out. Once you’ve acknowledged you’ve had those kind of thoughts the point then isn’t to spend the rest of your life atoning for your past ‘sins’, but to make a concerted effort to do better in future. Anti-racism is about acknowledging that yes, there have been times when you may have unconsciously (or even consciously) thought things you now know are racist, it’s about accepting that you might well still do so going forward, it’s about acknowledging that it is a problem that you’re more offended when someone is called racist than listening to the person who has experienced racism. What becoming anti-racist forces you to do is to challenge and question your actions, anti-racism means you educate yourself, you listen more and you act and do things differently going forward.

Oh shut up you do-gooder.

I hear you, you’re likely rolling your eyes thinking I’m a well-meaning liberal/lefty/feminist/do-gooder feeling all high and mighty about what a good person I am. But actually I’m not a particularly ‘good’ person and I’m certainly no better than anyone else. I’m not here to judge and make you feel shitty about yourself, because actually, life is hard, and annoying and I know that you have your own stuff on your plate that no one else can understand. I know that you’re trying to balance work, parenting, friendships, money worries, school, health and everything else and to be honest, you could really do without me telling you you’re racist. I know. I’m the same and believe me when I say that I am not looking down on you from a throne of perfection where I think and do no wrong, because I make mistakes all the time and by becoming anti-racist I have not suddenly become ‘good’ I am not a ‘better person’ because of it. But what I am saying is this, when I looked at the actual facts, when I spoke to my Black and Brown friends, when I stopped to listen rather than jump to defending my non-racist stance I began to see that racism does exist, that it does impact the everyday lives of people, and that, and this was hard to swallow, that by doing nothing, but staying silent… I was part of the problem.

But why should I bother? Racism doesn’t actually affect me.

If you’re white, you might think that racism doesn’t impact you, and that really it’s best if you just carry on in your non-racist (even though you now know there’s no such thing) life. But I’m going to break it to you now, racism costs everyone, and yes it’s costing you. Let’s take out all the ‘it’s the right thing to do’ stuff and show you why racism is bad for you.

It holds you back from experiencing life to the full and engaging with other human beings in a full way. It stops relationships forming, prevents friendships, conversations and connections.
If you have kids and you are not unlearning racism, and exposing them to the many ways of living outside of what they might directly experience as white children you are locking them out from this too. You might also be increasing the likelihood that they develop racist views, that they go on to uphold racism, possibly even the violent and overt kind which you disapprove of.
If you work in an institution like the NHS, the police, a school, or service you might be unwittingly excluding Black and Brown people from engaging with your work and getting equitable treatment. This might be massively affecting their quality of life.
If you run your own business, by not thinking about how Black and Brown people might experience using your business you are missing out on valuable customers!
On a community level, even in areas of Cumbria where most people are white, racism is like a poison that holds us back from becoming an open, friendly place to live. It can also contribute to a culture where other outdated and harmful attitudes, such as homophobia and other forms of prejudice, are more likely to persist.

Ok Fine. Enough already. But what difference does it make if I become anti-racist?

Actually a lot. It might mean that you start questioning things you read in the papers, things you see, things you hear. You might actually start believing the experiences of Black and Brown people! It might mean you can better support your Black and Brown friends, family and colleagues. It might mean that you start to ask questions in meetings at work like ‘Have we thought how this might impact Black and Brown people?’ even if there are no Black or Brown people there. It might mean your children are introduced to more Black and Brown heroes. It might mean your bookshelves start to reflect more experiences. As you grow, it starts to look a bit like this…

If after reading this you’ve recognised yourself in it at all and want to find out a bit more about anti-racism you can start here.

Anti-Racism What Does it Mean and Where to Begin

8 Books to Start Your Anti-Racist Journey

My Anti-Racist Journey

*We don’t use the BAME acronym ‘in house’ at Anti Racist Cumbria as it hides the people behind it, however it has been used in this instance as that was the framing used for this particular study.